A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

Whose your daddy? Not me

A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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