yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

Knock knock It's open, come in

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

whats small and sexually confused? YOu

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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