Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Faithful men.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops