A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops