Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops