A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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Neither did she.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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