What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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alert("Hello");

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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