what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Knock Knock Who's there

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops