What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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