A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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