What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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