What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops