Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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try to find the 1 thumbs up if you find it! 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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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