Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Caolan and Eamon

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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A gay man watches football.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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