bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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