a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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