why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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