Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Once there was a girl named Andrea

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops