a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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