Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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