How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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men's rights activists

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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