Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

asdasdasdasd

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops