A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my gramma died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops