How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

What do you call a white duck? A quacker

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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