Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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Women's Rights

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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