what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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