Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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