How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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