What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

Your adopted

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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