What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

joe galasso from plainview ny

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

Steve Jobs is alive.

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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