A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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