What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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