What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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