A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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