How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

thumb_up thumb_down +30

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops