A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops