?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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no.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops