What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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