What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats long and black? a baton

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops