Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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