Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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u know whats a crime? rape

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops