What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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