What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

69...you know how awkward this is now...

Poop

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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