Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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