What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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