A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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How do you end a sentence

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Stephen Hawking

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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