What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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