A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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