Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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No it doesnt..

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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