Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +2

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops