Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops