How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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