An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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