A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops