Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call white trash Garbage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops