Whats funny? Your face.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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