Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Your mother just died.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops