roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Nero, sure you are okay?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops